n-Vesica Creative Caregiving, created by Allison L. Williams Hill, documents the changes in my husband’s and my life together as he became more dependent due to illness.
This documents the changes in her beloved husband’s and her life together as he became more dependent due to illness. Creative Caregiving involved energetic work and experiencing the clash between so-called modern medical practices and how much of a role energetic work has in the process of one’s health and well-being.
My Beloved Husband
That's Clem and me on our honeymoon in Barbados. It was also the year things gradually began to change. I was informed in 2005 by my friend, the late Rev. Raphael Francisco Azariel di Angelo, a transchanneler and spiritist, that Clem would become very dependent on me. I acknowledged the comment and thought it would not take place until, perhaps, twenty years later, when we were in the golden years of our lives.
Spirit doesn't necessarily reach that far into the future. Spirit tells you what you need to know.
These are our hands in probate court when I was obtaining guardianship. Clem was not in the space to manage his affairs. He literally is pursuing a more important activity in this life.
Clem knew he was going through a change. He shared this information long after I heard him repeat events of his life for hours. Sometimes I found it annoying while we were watching television. I regret not recording his voice reciting what he used to do; how he lived, his school years, so he could hear all of it in his own voice today.
We were made aware of the deep spiritual change he was to undergo. It involved completely releasing, stripping even, all of the structure he created in his life. He also knew he would talk less. He asked me to become more telepathic.
Caring for another, be it a child; a sibling; an aging parent, a spouse, or other, externalizes one's own care. Visualize what you do and split yourself into two except the other you is incapable of doing for itself. Giving care becomes the other focus replacing a job done for compensation.
Sometimes I wonder where the time went. The day is almost over. When I think about what I did for myself, I cannot account for all of the time. But refreshing his body, fixing meals necessary for maintaining his level of health, ensuring that he eats, cleaning his teeth, checking his body- oh, yeah, I can see where it all went. The time was not wasted. It was used well. And my beloved is healthy and can still convey how he feels if only by squeezing my hand.
Creative Caregiving was formerly its own web site: https://sites.google.com/site/creativecaregiving.
I moved all of the googles free sites into In-Vesica because it made sense: all of the work I do is informed by Spirit. In other words, more questions to determine the best choice are asked. I use meditation to ask those questions.
Creative Caregiving provides notes, experiences, education and resources for cared-fors and for you.
Caregiving is demanding. There may be one other, in addition to yourself.
After several years of caregiving, there are many things I wish I knew and had access to.
That prompted searching on Internet to find solutions.
And if none existed, I certainly felt the urge to create them.
For example, there is no sightless teaching class where we currently live. My husband's glaucoma was progressing. Where could I find tutorials on how to help my husband rely more on his other senses?
Necessity is the Mother of Invention. Reading several sources, I am assembling a process that works for us. The "how" we got there may be of interest more than the "what" we created. All couples and situations are different. Creative Caregiving would appreciate the opportunity to provide notes, experiences, education and resources for cared-fors and for you.
I became creative in choices for my husband about food; dressing; clothing choices; hygiene, and intimacy. Everything was new; unique; different, unusual in our relationship. It was something to realize that the static nature of our union was comfortable because of the expectations that were always satisfied. My husband's change, attributed to "dementia of the Alzheimer's type", whatever the hell that meant, and I still say that to this day, is unique to each person. Doctors claim there are similar behaviors to those afflicted. I heard of some from various people. The tellers were siblings; their fathers suffered through this change. I had not heard from spouses. Regardless, the two men had different lives and came from different parts of the country so their experiences were different. They lost track of time; started talking differently; were suspicious, did not remember people, however, this dis-ease was as unique as each individual.
This experience with my beloved husband ignited ideas for legislation and policy to empower people who desire to use non-toxic methods to facilitate healing. I pursued guardianship and was glad I did. In retrospect, it was not enough just to be his wife. The negative pushback was disgusting and demeaning. The medical professionals' "wall of obstruction"....
Despite that, the kindest and nicest doctors, nurses and aids were, unfortunately, limited in that they had to "toe the company line" if they wished to continue to be employed. For example, a medical doctor shared that she would be liable for sanctions if she mentioned non-pharmaceutical alternatives
for my husband's care.
A nurse complained about the difficulty in administering vitamin E for his care. She, therefore, made the decision to not give it to him. The social worker, bless her, smirked and told me they did it all of the time.
Despite my beloved's crossing over, it is far from over. I frequently think about our experiences in hospitals:
My attitude is that I want to change as much of this as I can. With the health program and other associates who feel the same way, I hope to succeed.
To be added soon.
I also produced Entura art several times during this period of our lives. The process helped. My beloved husband was always a supporter of my work and the spiritual information that came through it embraced both of us.
I created the healing mandala above over several hours while he slept.